I'm having one of those phases again; the kind of phase when I have so much going on inside me that it feels like my heart is being ripped out mercilessly by a force unseen while my mind is in shambles, dazed and confused and devoid of any understanding of why it's going through all this unnecessary angst. And unnecessary it is, truly. While everything in my life is supposedly in the places they are supposed to be, I'm not kidding you when I say I have no idea why I feel so tormented and torn all the time. And all this pent up anguish is not just in my mind. The pain is getting more and more real and physical everyday, and there are times when I would trade my soul just to have this unexplained heartache disappear. I have no clue how to deal with it, and the tears won't even come out even though I've been begging them to. At least they could well up from deep inside where the pain throbs the most, and maybe that could be the balm that's needed?
Well, here I am, rambling on and on in the hope that maybe all this venting will diminish this awful dark feeling I have swelling up to my throat right now, but it's only getting worse. And so I stop here now, hoping that someone, anyone, can point me in the direction of the sunlight that has been missing from my life for way too long now. Maybe someone can explain why I'm having to go through this awful phase now and again and how to get over it. Help, anyone?