Tuesday, September 20, 2011

I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.


I don’t have much to say today, but I just wanted to share this song with you. This song has been playing over and over again in my I-pod, in the car and in my head so I thought it deserves a place in my blog too; for this song does the perfect job of saying what I think I want to say now. Go ahead click on the link and give it a listen then.




And here are the lyrics below. Just felt like writing out the words:

"Another summer day
has come and gone away
In Paris or Rome...
but I wanna go home
...uhm Home
may be surrounded by
a million people I
still feel all alone
just wanna go home
I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters
that I wrote to you,
Each one a line or two
I'm fine baby, how are you?
I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane, another sunny place,
I'm lucky I know
but I wanna go home
I got to go home

Let me go home

I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home


And I feel just like I'm living
someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
when everything was going right
And I know just why you could not come along with me
This was not your dream
but you always believed in me...

Another winter day
Has come and gone away
in either Paris or Rome
and I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
still feel alone
Let me go home
I miss you , you know

Let me go home
I've had my run
baby I'm done
I gotta go home

Let me go home
it'll all be alright
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home"

Title credit: Maya Angelou

Friday, September 16, 2011

Home

I think I've kinda figured out what this nagging anxiety within me really is. For the past couple of months, I've had this strange feeling of 'not belonging' that has left me restless and fidgety throughout the long days and the sleepless nights. I have no idea how it came to exist within me, but it has, and now that it has, it's stubborn about not leaving. I've been trying real hard to fit into this one life that I've been given, because let's face it, it's the only shot I've got at living. And yet, I can't seem to make this very disturbing feeling of being 'lost and hopeless' leave me at peace. I sit in my own bedroom, on my own bed, and yet I feel so forlorn...like I have somewhere else to be, like this is not where I belong. I struggle through each day, hoping the next will be more promising and yet the next day comes and goes without me feeling any better. I miss that familiar feeling of being 'home', being at peace with my own thoughts and with my surroundings. 
It seems like I don't even know where home is anymore, because there isn't a single place that gives me that sense of tranquility that I so badly need right now. I'm grappling my way through a long dark winding corridor right now, hoping there's light somewhere ahead....and and if and when I reachthat light, I hope that familiar feeling of being home will wash through my soul once again and wrap my whole being with its warm and comforting presence.
 

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Help?

I'm having one of those phases again; the kind of phase when I have so much going on inside me that it feels like my heart is being ripped out mercilessly by a force unseen while my mind is in shambles, dazed and confused and devoid of any understanding of why it's going through all this unnecessary angst. And unnecessary it is, truly. While everything in my life is supposedly in the places they are supposed to be, I'm not kidding you when I say I have no idea why I feel so tormented and torn all the time. And all this pent up anguish is not just in my mind. The pain is getting more and more real and physical everyday, and there are times when I would trade my soul just to have this unexplained heartache disappear. I have no clue how to deal with it, and the tears won't even come out even though I've been begging them to. At least they could well up from deep inside where the pain throbs the most, and maybe that could be the balm that's needed?

Well, here I am, rambling on and on in the hope that maybe all this venting will diminish this awful dark feeling I have swelling up to my throat right now, but it's only getting worse. And so I stop here now, hoping that someone, anyone, can point me in the direction of the sunlight that has been missing from my life for way too long now. Maybe someone can explain why I'm having to go through this awful phase now and again and how to get over it. Help, anyone?

Saturday, August 13, 2011

49 Ways to Live a Kick-Ass Life

49 Ways to Live a Kick-Ass Life

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

She thinks I'm a good egg even when I'm half-cracked

'A friend is a gift we give ourselves' I read somewhere. Boy, I sure know how to bag the best gifts around! I'm talking about my awesome friends who are more family and soul sisters than just friends. Friendship Day just went by so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to introduce the people who rock my world day in and day out. So I thought, I'd do this one at a time since writing about all of them in just one post wouldn't do any of them any justice, because all of them are precious and unique in their own ways. I'll start off by talking about Shama, the girl whose wedding was the topic of my very first blog post (you can check it out here.)

I've known this girl for ever, but she didn't become my best friend until about ten years back. And once she did, she became my rock. Always more steady and matured than I am, I've counted on her to pull me back from the dumps I usually get myself into now and then, and she has never disappointed me. By nature, we're almost exact opposites. I am rash and impulsive, while she's steady and calm. I'm hot-tempered and brash at times, while she's always cool and collected. But I guess these differences are exactly what have brought us closer and over the years, I've looked up to her to be a sort of guiding angel. Being the fashionista that she is, she has also always been my fashion and beauty consultant, and as usual, she has pulled off all the responsibilities of this role with panache. 

The warm fuzzy feeling of having someone by your side, who has played 'dolls' tea-parties' with you, who was the first one to know about your first love, who held your hand and hugged you tight during your first heartbreak and was more than the 'maid of honour' at your wedding, is incomparable to any other feeling. I can't thank the Lord enough for sending a friend like Shama into my life. She is the substance that love and friendship is made up of, and I don't know what my life would be without her.




Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The Culinary (Mis)Adventures of the Not-So-Adventurous

I love cooking. Not regular everyday cooking that's more like a chore. I love cooking when it's a real fancy affair on weekends and on special occasions. I love going shopping for grocery, and I enjoy filling the shopping cart with oodles of edible delicacies that I can work on for the next couple of hours just to come up with something completely different than what I had planned to make. Nonetheless, I love my little culinary experiments and here are some I tossed up in the last couple of weeks:

Shrimp Tempura with Mango Salsa (the Tempura was made by Hubby:D)




     


Spicy Beef Curry (Thai style)      
Purple Cabbage Stir Fry with Baby Corns and Mushrooms

Sticky Vermicelli Barfi
Sfouf ( A middle-eastern dessert made with semolina and flour)

Saturday, July 02, 2011

Reminiscing

The pace at which time passes by often catches me by surprise. It seems as if 2nd July 2010 happened just a few days back, when the hubby (who happened to be just The Boyfriend back then) and I exchanged rings and officially started our future together. I vividly remember how tense I was when Mom was finally about to bell the cat, i.e. tell my Dad about the boy in my life, and how relieved I felt when Dad was unexpectedly cool about it. I'm missing all the buzz that was going on around the house this time last year: the planning for the Engagement day, shopping for the outfits, the jewellery and the gifts for the to-be in-laws; fixing the venue and the decorations and menu for the big day. And D-day went by like a dream! Yes, those were fun times and it surprises me that a year has already passed by since then and so many things have changed, yet I feel like it was only yesterday.

This was us, this time, last year:


Friday, June 17, 2011

Flawed


For a year and a half, I had watched you from a distance and wondered how any human being could be so perfect. I had watched you from every angle possible and studied you in every manner possible, and I had been left wondering without a clue. How anyone could be so achingly perfect in every sense was beyond me. You walk into a room and the whole atmosphere wraps sveltely around you. You seem to own the ground you set your foot on; the air wherever you go becomes yours instantly. The second you open your mouth to speak, people drop whatever else they are doing to listen to each and every word of yours with rapt attention. You always know the right words to say and the right thing to do. Never had I seen you to be mistaken or off beam in any situation.  A person so flawless, I didn’t know whether I should look up to you or be scared of you because I could never measure up to your standards. You inspired me and intimidated me at the same time. Until yesterday, when I finally saw you for what you are.
What you are is heartless. A living human being with no warm blood flowing in your veins. An idol with no real qualities to make you human. Flawless in every way and yet so hollow. Charismatic in every sense, yet so distant from all around you. Diplomatic to the core but no fire and passion in your words. Charming beyond words but no guts to say out loud how you feel, no passion to claim what is rightly yours. A demi-god on the exterior, not even a human inside. What you are is lifeless and cold and I’d rather be blood and flesh and warmth and heart and fire and aggression and pain and tears than be stony cold lifeless hollow prude like you.

Saturday, June 04, 2011

Mush Ball

I watched this movie yesterday called 'Letters to Juliet'. It was exactly my kind of movie: beautiful people, beautiful places, beautiful story and beautiful dialogues and monologues. This particular one has been sticking in my mind, so I thought of sharing it with you all :

"Dear Claire, What and If are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? What if? What if? I don't know how your story ended but if what you felt then was true love, then it's never too late. If it was true then, why wouldn't it be true now? You need only the courage to follow your heart. I don't know what a love like Juliet's feels like - love to leave loved ones for, love to cross oceans for but I'd like to believe if I ever were to feel it, that I will have the courage to seize it. And, Claire, if you didn't, I hope one day that you will. All my love, Juliet"



Yes, I'm a sucker for romance flicks and their mushy dialogues. So while I'm at the subject, here are some more that have remained my favourites over the years:

This is actually a poem from the movie '10 Things I Hate About You."

"I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big, dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick — It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh — Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around. And the fact that you don't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you — Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all."

And here's one from The Notebook:

“Summer romances end for all kinds of reasons. But when all is said and done, they have one thing in common: They are shooting stars-a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, a fleeting glimpse of eternity. And in a flash, they're gone."











And this is one of my absolute favourite dialogues from my absolute favourite movie My Best Friend's Wedding:

George Downes: The misery, the exquisite tragedy. The Susan Hayward of it all. I can just picture you there, sitting alone at your table in your lavender gown.
Julianne Potter: Did I tell you my gown was lavender?
George Downes: Hair swept up. Haven't touched your cake. Probably drumming your fingernails on the white linen tablecloth, the way you do when you're really feeling down. Perhaps looking at those nails thinking: 'God, I should have stopped in all my evil plotting to have that manicure, but it's too late now.
Julianne Potter: George, I didn't tell you my dress was lavender.
George Downes: Suddenly, a familiar song. And, you're off your chair in one, exquisite movement... wondering, searching, sniffing the wind like a dapple deer. Has God heard your little prayer? Will Cinderella dance again? And then, suddenly, the crowds part and there he is: sleek, stylish... radiant with charisma. Bizarrely, he's on the telephone. But then, so are you. And then he comes towards you... the moves of a jungle cat. Although you quite correctly sense that he is... gay... like most devastatingly handsome single men of his age are, you think... what the hell. Life goes on. Maybe there won't be marriage... maybe there won't be sex... but, by God, there'll be dancing.


So these were just some of my favourites dialogues from my favourite movies. How about yours? Do share :) Have a lovely weekend you all!