My old friend, or rather enemy, or maybe ‘Frenemy’ as a new term goes, is back. She’s back with renewed vigor and a suppressed vengeance, it seems. This time, she’s got me in a tight grip and the physical effects have started showing: the dark circles turning from light ash to a sinister grey, the puffy eyes in the morning taking much longer than normal to subside, the skin looking so tired and ‘un-fresh’ all the time. But these really aren’t my biggest worries. I’m more upset by the thoughts she puts into my head: the restless fretting, the unnecessary reflections on the days gone by, the worries of the future. All this while the chaos of yet another meaningless day rushes towards me and I’m left to fight its anarchy with diminishing energy and sagging eyelids.
This frenemy of mine has been with me for years now. She’s fickle, comes and goes as and when she wishes, no particular pattern or reason. When she announces her arrival, she gets me wondering to what I owe the pleasure (NOT!) of her presence. When she leaves, I’m left looking for clues to what it was that drove her away. Most of the times, she brings along some of her friends and they seem to have a ball in my head every night. Her friends have ominous names too: Anxiety, Restlessness and Exhaustion. They are often joined by Blankness, which is even more irritating than its other acquaintances.
This time, I don’t know how long my old friend/enemy will be staying and when she will suddenly decide to let go of her grip on me. *big sigh* I just hope she tires soon this time.