Old Habits Die Hard- Hopefully not!

I was never a morning person, more so when it came to breakfast. For as long as I can remember, I always loathed putting anything edible into my mouth before the sun was at its highest and blazing best. For years, my parents, grandparents, friends and whoever else cared took the painstaking initiative to drill into my head how breakfast was the most important meal of the day and how I was neglecting my health by forgoing breakfast. Article after health article explained to me just how my body needed those calories before setting out to tackle the daily chores and how skipping breakfast could hinder my pathetic attempts at losing weight, to no effect of course. I listened, understood, and agreed, but simply could not bring myself to start the healthy habit. 

 And so, I faced the consequences. For the past few months, I've been fighting lightheaded-ness all day at work that has apparently resulted from my complete negligence of my body's need for nutrition. Apparently, all the icecreams and burgers I chowed down count for nothing but the accumulating fat in my flabby arms and the ever expanding waistline that will soon compete with that of Hubby dearest's. Oh well, I guess I'm not surprised. But the biggest worry for me right now is to get habituated to the ritual of eating a healthy breakfast everyday to provide my body with the calories it needs early in the morning to help me stay alert and focused and to kickstart my metabolism that will somehow (one day) help me get rid of all this flab I carry around. From what I hear, without breakfast, my lightheaded-ness will stick around for a long time, and that is not a risk I'm willing to take. 


Hence, as much as I hate the feeling of pushing something down my throat at 8 in the morning, I will do it. Because I need to take care of my health and because I owe this to myself and my family who hate to see me feeling droopy and sluggish all day. So here's to a new habit, a new beginning, a new me!


P.S. If you happen to have some healthy and easy breakfast ideas, do share with me please. Being the foodie that I am, I absolutely cannot imagine having to gulp down the same old cereal or bread every day. I crave variety, so help me out here, will you please? Happy Thursday everyone!

It's Just a Little Crush!

Okay, there's something I've been wanting to write about for a long time, errr, someone actually. I never got around to writing about that person because I was a bit apprehensive about how I might be judged, but today I just HAVE to spill my beans, because I cannot keep all these gushing emotions bottled up inside me any longer. I just need to let it all out on paper (in the blogosphere actually) because it is no longer enough to just say these words over and over in my mind anymore: I feel like a teenager again, because I HAVE A CRUSH!!! There, I feel much better now :) Okay, I know I'm married and all, but a harmless crush is nothing that condemnable, right?? Oww come on now, don't be harsh!!

I remember the day I first saw him about a year and a half ago. I remember that first smile he gave me when I was introduced to him; no actually, I remember the twinkle that appeared in his eye when he gave me that smile. I was hooked right then and there. I slowly got to know him better, he swept me off my feet not only with that smile, but the most charismatic personality I'd ever known anyone to have. When he talked, I would listen with rapt attention because THAT is the effect he had on everyone. When he walked into a room, it brightened up immediately and there was not a dull moment while he was around. He was the most eloquent man I had ever met, and I was a sucker for smooth talkers. The days that followed changed me into a completely different person. I felt like a teenager in love for the very first time. I couldn't stop a silly smile from spreading across my face whenever he talked to me. I blushed when someone mentioned his name, and couldn't stop talking about him nonstop to anyone who was willing to listen, including the boy who was then my boyfriend and who is now my Hubby :D 

It's been more than a year now, and he still has that same effect on me. Just one glimpse of his face can brighten my day no matter how shitty I'd been feeling before that. Heck, it gives me an adrenaline rush like anything else in the world never has! The twinkle in his eyes when he smiles and the 'Dennis the Menace' hairstyle still gets my heart racing like it has to win the Grand Prix or something. I cherish each and every word he says to me, and I relive them in my mind over and over and over again...yes I know I'm sounding obnoxious at the moment, but bear with me, I'm helpless, that's how I feel about him :S 

 If only....if only I was a little older, if only I had met him before. The fact that he is twenty-two years older to me (yeah, I forgot to mention that before) and happily married with two beautiful kids is a bit of a problem but he's still the biggest crush I ever had! Yes, Hubby knows and he laughs at me like I'm a crazy person, but the heart wants what it wants, right??

*SIGH* Gosh, he's just breathtaking!!!

Title credit: Jennifer Paige

Graduated!!!

After waiting for a little more than a year, the 12th of April 2011 finally arrived. The day I had been looking forward to for the last 5 years, the day I had concocted numerous imaginary scenes about, the day that took way too long to finally arrive. My Convocation Day! The day I finally achieved the right to officially call myself a graduate, even though I was done with classes at the university almost a year back. And my, did it feel good!

Well, to tell you the truth, most of the things did not really go according to how I had imagined them in  my mind. For one, I did not look gorgeous or even minutely pretty in my black long gown; I did not get to take hundreds of pictures wearing the gown and receiving my degree, because cameras and cellphones were prohibited in the campus that day as the President was present at the occasion. I missed out on the procession of the graduates as I arrived late in the campus. Neither did I get any distinction or medal, because I'm no Summa cum Laude after all. But despite so many disappointments, the feelings I had that day were everything I knew they would be. The moment we were announced as graduates is a moment that will forever remain etched in my mind with indelible ink. I know I still have a Masters degree to pursue, but I don't know if that degree will give me the sense of completion and achievement that I got from my undergraduate, because after all, THIS is my first ever major degree!

Oh, and the best part? Hubby and I graduated together! That made the day all the more memorable for the both of us :)

Beautiful April Rain

You're pouring outside. You're pouring with unabashed might and vigour, snatching my attention from the final game of the ICC World Cup 2011. There's thunder too; lightning, thunder, the works. Best of all is the amazing breeze you've brought along, pushing its way through my thick curtains to cool my cheeks that have heated up from the excitement of watching the match. I'm so glad you came.

You, you do things to me. Sometimes you drench my heart with a melancholy that I just can't seem to shrug off easily; at other times, you refresh my soul and wash away the sludge of stress and disappointment that everyday life seems to pile on a regular basis. You're beautiful, I could sing love songs about you for hours. I love the grey clouds that carefully conceal you within themselves, keeping me guessing for hours till you finally decide it's time to grace my windowpane with your first droplet. I love the moist breeze that accompanies you, heavily laden (can I say 'pregnant'?) with your 'cool' presence and I love the freshness you leave behind in the world around me. I love how sometimes, when I'm asleep, you quietly walk outside my window and work your magic to push me into a deeper and more enjoyable slumber. I love how you make me crave for spicy warm comfort food like 'khichudi'.

Sometimes, you're outright cruel: making me want to listen to slow sad songs, tugging at the well-hidden strings of my heart to pull open the floodgate of memories I prefer not to let out and enveloping me with your greyness. That is cruel, I tell you. But I love you anyway, for all objects we love are cruel to us, some time or another. Such is my unconditional love for you.

I'm looking forward to see more of you in the upcoming days. No matter what kind of mood you get me in, you're always welcome on my window pane :) 

I, me and myself

A little more than 3 weeks into my new job and I've almost settled into my morning routine! Oh well, that is indeed a surprise! I, who firmly believed that the sole purpose of early morning sunshine and breeze was to enhance the depth of my morning slumber, have learnt to appreciate the calm serenity of the mild sunshine and the delightful spring breeze that plays with my tresses while I make my way to work through the ugly rush hour traffic of Dhaka city.Yes, the traffic is a huge turnoff, otherwise I pretty much like the Spring mornings right now !

Ever since I've joined my new job, the days seem to whiz right by without my noticing. The impatient weekdays swoop in before I'm done caressing the lovely weekends that enjoy bundling me up in their arms and whispering sweet lullabies to keep me snuggled up in my bed all day. The only activity I've been able to get done these past 3 weekends is lazying in and around my bed sharing stories from work with the hubby and stuffing my face with junk food while watching movies and cricket matches with friends. Oh, so the stayovers and lounging around with friends in PJs should count too. But what went grossly neglected was some quality 'me' time. Over the past few weeks, I don't think I was able to get a moment to myself, moments which I thoroughly enjoy and truly need in order my maintain my sanity around others. So today, I decided it was way too long overdue and so I shut myself up from the rest of the world with a magazine and treated myself to a heavenly pedicure. While my feet rejoiced at the feeling of having all the accumulated burden from the long-dead cells sloughed away, my soul enjoyed the quiet conversations with my heart while my brain sighed with relief at having a respite from the obligation to operate continuously without rest. Ahhh, it was a good Friday indeed!

Not Fair!

Life has not been fair to me recently. I started my new job with such high spirits only to be dampened just a  couple of weeks later by my health that decided it was time to act out and irritate my brains out. Two weeks into my job and I feel lightheaded all day at work. Can't focus on anything, can't stay on my feet for too long without feeling like I'm about to pass out and can't look at the computer for more than 5 minutes at a stretch. A visit to the doctor confirmed my friend old Anaemia is back along with very low blood pressure that causes the dizziness all day. Just what I needed, huh? Right now when I need to lose the stone I've gained after the wedding, I have to chow down bowls of fruits every three hours, and drink milk and have eggs every single day. I have to make sure I eat something every three hours and cannot skip a single meal. And yes, there's the added salt I need to bring my blood pressure to a normal level. Why????? Why does this have to happen to me?? Food, glorious food, that I love so much, has always been a double-edged sword for me. I eat them, I gain weight and turn into a fat blob of well, fat. I don't, I fall sick. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I don't think I'll ever be able to fit into those beautiful fitted tops I love to gorge my eyes on. I'll always be like this: plump and hopeless :(

A Day of Mixed Feelings

To say that I've gone through a plethora of emotions today would be an understatement. I woke up to horrific scenes of burning buildings and colossal tidal waves sweeping over Japan, and for the next couple of hours I witnessed on television how helpless humankind is when challenged by the wrath of nature. However, it was not long before I found my fingers working their way to the tv remote and switching to the nearest sports channel. Don't judge me please, but we Bangladeshis are very very very passionate about cricket and there's almost nothing in this world that can stop us from cheering for our Tigers when they are on the field. So for the last 8 hours, I kept switching between news and sports channels, cheering with each English wicket taken by our boys, speechless when the heart-wrenching images of Japan filled the screen, and praying....praying all day. Praying for our Tigers to reach the glory of victory, and praying for Japan to overcome this calamity as soon as possible. Well, my former wish just came true because the Bangladeshi Tigers defeated the English Lions at a very high-adrenaline match that had us biting our fingernails (not literally, ewww!!) till the very last minute. All my prayers now are for Japan. I pray for the lives that were lost in the devastating calamity, for the families who lost their precious ones, for the ones that are still missing and for the nation to find its ground once again. Japan, the whole world is praying for you. Don't give up. Keep the hope alive.