Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Castles in the Sky

I admit it. I'm a dreamer and a hopeless romantic. Always a bit too hopeful, somewhat delusional (NOT in a psycho way!), not very practical and mostly just a big dreamer. Almost everyday, I put on a mask which makes people perceive me as a strong, practical-minded woman who knows her way in life. Very few people can see past that fa├žade into my core where all they will find is a starry-eyed girl whose dreams are bigger than her eyes can hold. True, I often dream up things that I know I may never be able to fulfill, but that doesn't keep me from building castles in the sky . I tell myself I should learn to live life the way it is supposed to be lived, in the real world, but how I can deny something that is as much a part of me as my DNA? 

Often, a dream falls flat on its face and shatters itself into pieces, and my eyes water watching it bleed its way out of existence, but in no time, there's a new one replacing the old and I immediately get to work on nurturing the newborn, trying to ignore the scars left by the old. Sometimes, I close my eyes and let my mind drift back to the memories of my deceased dreams, and try to put together a picture of how they would look, had they obtained the chance to set foot in reality. I ache to bring them back to life, and knowing that it's too late is never a good feeling. So I move on to another dream, and work on bringing it alive. I feel like Ghepetto working day and night, trying to bring little Pinochhio to life with all his love and attention. In my case, I'm working with a hundred different Pinochhios, some of whom I cannot help but love more dearly than the others and on whom I cannot help but lavish all my attention and care and hard work. But often times, these are the ones who hurt me with their untimely demise, and who leave the biggest scars in my heart which take an eternity to heal. But like I said, there's always another one what needs me. I can only hope that at least some of my Pinocchios will not fail me, because I need them for my own existence as much as they need me for theirs.


WarmSunshine said...

Ah... have you read The Alchemist? If no then you're missing out on a big dreams-treat!

Liked the post dear... and thanks for following :)

Purple Butterfly said...

Hi Mehreen..thank you so much for going through my blog :) I've read more than a handful of your posts already, and I must tell you I simply love reading them :) I haven't read The Alchemist yet, heard a lot of good reviews though. Will hopefully get my hands on it soon, thanks for the suggestion :) Keep in touch :)

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