Friday, June 17, 2011

Flawed


For a year and a half, I had watched you from a distance and wondered how any human being could be so perfect. I had watched you from every angle possible and studied you in every manner possible, and I had been left wondering without a clue. How anyone could be so achingly perfect in every sense was beyond me. You walk into a room and the whole atmosphere wraps sveltely around you. You seem to own the ground you set your foot on; the air wherever you go becomes yours instantly. The second you open your mouth to speak, people drop whatever else they are doing to listen to each and every word of yours with rapt attention. You always know the right words to say and the right thing to do. Never had I seen you to be mistaken or off beam in any situation.  A person so flawless, I didn’t know whether I should look up to you or be scared of you because I could never measure up to your standards. You inspired me and intimidated me at the same time. Until yesterday, when I finally saw you for what you are.
What you are is heartless. A living human being with no warm blood flowing in your veins. An idol with no real qualities to make you human. Flawless in every way and yet so hollow. Charismatic in every sense, yet so distant from all around you. Diplomatic to the core but no fire and passion in your words. Charming beyond words but no guts to say out loud how you feel, no passion to claim what is rightly yours. A demi-god on the exterior, not even a human inside. What you are is lifeless and cold and I’d rather be blood and flesh and warmth and heart and fire and aggression and pain and tears than be stony cold lifeless hollow prude like you.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

WHoa !!! Now that is what I call ventong ones feelings. So honest, so full of fire and passion, so expressive and so from the hesart.
All your disappointment and anger and pent up emotion....you made me feel all of that while reading it.
You have a gift with words....don't let that talent go to waste.

Anonymous said...

Hey excuse the typos. One-eyed Jack, that's me.

Purple Butterfly said...

Hey Anonymous, thanks for taking the time to go through my older posts as well. You always have such positive things to say. What's up with your eye though?

Anonymous said...

Credit where credit is due. I always believe in telling it like it is. Like I said, you have a special talent and that needs encouragement in order to grow and develop. So.....
My Mum did that for me many years ago, but I got involved in other things and let that dream die. Regret that now.
But I digress. To get back to your question. Well, I have had Glaucoma since birth. But it was only detected when I was in my teens. Been blind in the left eye for a long time. Only have 6/60 vision in the right...approx 25% overall. That too will go eventually...God only knows when.
I don't read printed matter anymore. Too much of a hassle using a magnifier. Eyes get very sore. This is the only medium where I can read, cos I can enlarge the font size.
So there you go....that's my cross.
But hey, life goes on. So you keep on writing and I'll let my 1/4 good eye get some well needed exercise...lol :)

Purple Butterfly said...

Hey, I won't say I'm sorry for you, for you have an admirable spirit and a kind heart that a lot of people with perfect eyesight do not possess :-) so what can i call you Anonymous? Do you write a blog as well?

Anonymous said...

Hey thanks for the kind words. No, I do not write a blog. The brain ain't geared up for writing. But I like to read the thoughts that others put into words. It is very refreshing to read someone elses perspective on life and the rest, especially when it is so eloquently put.
What to call me ? Hmm...let's see. I'm a simple person, now I have to think up some fancy monikker (name). Tell you what.... let me sleep on it and I'll tell ya tomorrow, promise.
Bye 4 now. Goodnite and sleep tite :)

Anonymous said...

OK I promised I'd tell you today so here it is.
After much deliberation, debate, argument and counter-argument we (my shadow and I) have decided.
Aarey kee...no applause or fanfare for this big announcement? OK, ok, enough, enough !!
My name is Laurel. Am a friend of your Mum. Originally from Chittagong, now I live in the land of Oz in the windiest and driest capital city in the world. Been here since 1974. Have 4 kids aged 25 to 31 and 2 blessings from Heaven - my grand daughters.
Up to you what ya want to call me. Sorry for not telling you earlier.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Laurel is usually a female name. But obviously my Mum wanted to give me somethinmg unique. So my Aunt suggested Laurel, as in the celebratory victory wreath worn in Roman times.
Now here in Oz I always haver a problem with the name coz they expect to see a woman.
Then I turn up.....and you should see the "What the" look on their faces.
Even a lot of my mail is addressed as Ms. So now I just use my initials.
Moral of the story - sometimes having a name that is a bit unusual can be a pain.
But at least there's only 1 of me here in Oz.

Purple Butterfly said...

Why, nice to meet know Laurel! Mind if I call you just that? I don't want to call you 'uncle' because even though you might be a friend of my mum's, but here in this corner of the virtual world, you're just my friend :) Thanks once again for keeping up with what I have to say, it means a lot...it must be way into the night in your part of the world, so wishing you sweet dreams right now! Might have a new post ready by the time you start a new day :)

Purple Butterfly said...

See, my post started with a typo too! I meant, nice to know you Laurel! :)

Anonymous said...

Hahaha....you are funny. No, I don't mind at all..you can call me Laurel.
This site looks like it is hosted somewhere in the USA, coz there's a 15 hour time difference to what appears on the posts.
Actually in real time we are just 2 hours ahead of BD. So it wud have been 9.15 pm here. Only just missed catching your reply, coz I logged off the PC at 9.00 and sat down to watch a DVD.
Posted on your HELP write as well.....Ciao

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